THIRSTY THURSDAY: Nubile Films’ Tension

Holly Michaels and Bruce Venture prove that you don’t need any fancy bells and whistles to create effective spank bank material. I give this mid-morning romp one stiff cup of morning joe, extra milk.

SHANDA FAY: Cum In My Canadian Kitchen

Shanda Fay is the Wayne Gretzky of Canadian Amateur MILF porn. Try to keep your sticks on the ice for this one, boys. I give “Cum In My Canadian Kitchen” the overtime in Game 7, Stanley Cup winning goal.

THIRSTY THURSDAY: LUSTERY’s Fucking in the Forest

This amateur film is equal parts uncomfortable and confusing. I think I actually felt my hymen reattach as I watched this video. I give this film one prescription for Viagra, followed promptly by one click of Will Smith’s mind eraser device from Men In Black.

TACO TUESDAY: Nubile Films’ Dames & Diamonds

This short and sweet film manages to be effective spank-bank material while avoiding the cliches I dislike in lesbian porn. I give this film 3 Baja Fish Tacos, extra spice.

VIXEN Eva Lovia’s Most Intense Scene

Good backstory, breathtaking cinematography, AMAZING tights. 5 fingers way in.